Saturday, August 11, 2012

Object of the Day, Caption Contest: Have you been to Hembold's?

Click image to enlarge.



I actually really like this card. When I was sorting through a lot of antique ephemera which I just purchased, this one immediately caught my eye. The colors are perfect examples of the popular chromolithograph palette of the 1880s and the gold on black architecture of the “frame” is indicative of the type of images which were favored. It’s just a nifty little package.

But…

Well, what’s with the guy? I understand, and am, truly, an aficionado of, the grotesque caricature style which was the hallmark of Victorian comic drawings. So, on one hand, this fella with his large head and spindly body is entirely appropriate for his purpose. But…

Why is he so sweaty? What’s his problem? I imagine he’s worn out from wearing a sandwich board. But, has it made him apoplectic?

Now, I understand that this is a “stock card” which was selected from a catalog and, then, later, printed with the advertiser’s information, but, the image doesn’t have anything to do with what’s being sold.

It reads:

Have you been to 
Helmbold’s 
830 
Chestnut St.? 
He has a beauti- 
ful display of the 
most recent im- 
portation of 

holiday 
GOODS, 

which he offers 
at greatly 

Reduced Rates. 

Be sure to go and 
examine his 
stock. 



And, then, he’ll sweat on you and presumably make little moaning noises through his nose.

If this little guy could talk, what would he tell you?

Let’s have a caption contest. You know how it works—use the comments page. And, go…

17 comments:

Darcy said...

Have you been to Hembold's?
It's a little like shopping in hell.
Built in a swamp over a steaming sulfur pit, Hembold's is truly a shopping experience.

Joseph Crisalli said...

B.L. Zebub, Manager.

April said...

Science tells us that having a head that is over 1/3 your body size can cause excessive perspiration. Come to Hembold's for our two for one head shrinking special

Joseph Crisalli said...

I'll be right there.

Sam P said...

I hope it's a plastic surgeon.

Joseph Crisalli said...

Not in 1890 you don't.

Carolyn said...

I dated him in the 70s.

Dashwood said...

This fellow is having cold sweats knowing that he's the direct descendent of the Mad Hatter and that he's to be the Great-grandfather of Mick Jagger. He carries a sandwich board during one of his brief periods of release from Colney Hatch.

Joseph Crisalli said...

That sums it up quite neatly and explains quite a lot.

Matt said...

It's probably an ad fir laxatives.

Joseph Crisalli said...

Fir laxatives are painful, Matt. Pinecones....

Shawn said...

He's sweating because he's just finished a steaming bowl of oatmeal that was brought to him by Wilford Brimley on his flying glittery unicorn. It's the only refreshment allowed in hell...Shop at Hembold's!

Matt said...

Doh! That would hurt.

Joseph Crisalli said...

Doh indeed.

Gene said...

I often have that expression.

Joseph Crisalli said...

We blame your mother-in-law.

Barb said...

He's having a hot flash.