Monday, December 27, 2010

Punch's Cousin, Chapter 130

Mr. Punch sat on the floor of the parlor, muttering to himself as he smelled the aromas of piping hot sausages, eggs, biscuits and other savory delights coming from the dining room where Meridian was laying out a decadent breakfast on the sideboard for her guests.


Perched atop Julian’s/Punch’s right hand was his puppet figure which Punch manipulated so that it appeared to perform a joyful dance. “Coo!” Mr. Punch cheered to Toby who sat nearby, also eagerly awaiting his breakfast, “It won’t be long now. A nice, peaceful breakfast. It’ll be grand, it will. Just us family and all that food.”

Toby barked his agreement.

“Well, then, Mr. Toby,” Mr. Punch continued, “just what have you got to say for yourself this morning?”

Toby wagged his tail.

“A fine response, I should say.” Mr. Punch nodded.

“And what say you, other Mr. Punch?” Punch asked his puppet.

“I say, let’s forget the others and have a go at those sausages,” Mr. Punch answered for himself, affecting a voice which was as close to Punch’s traditional squawk as Punch could create without the necessary “swazzle.”

Giggling from the hallway interrupted his cheerful conversation.

“Here,” Punch called, “Who’s there?”

“It is I,” Nellie said as she walked into the room.

“And what are you?” Mr. Punch asked, gently placing the puppet in his lap and wiggling his fingers to Toby so that the dog would come to him.

“We’ve not been introduced. They call me ‘Nellie.’” She responded, batting her eyelashes.

“Huh.” Mr. Punch grunted. “Have you any other name?”

“Just ‘Nellie.’”

“That don’t make sense. Everybody’s got at least two names, they do. Think of it, some would say me surname was Punch, but it ain’t. Me given name is Punch since I got a surname—Molliner—which is the same as the one which…” Mr. Punch paused and squinted at Nellie. “Listen, are you a wicked one or a good one?”

“I should like to think I’m good.” Nellie smiled.

“We’ll see, then. Won’t we? Adrienne said there was a woman here. Don’t want to play with me puppet, do ya?”

“No.” Nellie laughed.

“That’s fine.”

“You never finished introducing yourself, Sir.” Nellie sat down. “Customarily, a gentleman rises when a lady enters the room, and introduces himself.”

“Ah,” Mr. Punch nodded. “I can’t very well rise, see, as I got me dog with his head restin’ on me knee and it’d be a shame to bother this nice creature what’s comfortable. ‘Sides, I got me puppet in me lap and I don’t feel much like standin’.”

“Very well.” Nellie frowned. “You could at least introduce yourself. That should be simple enough.”

Mr. Punch chuckled. “Not quite as simple as you might like to think.” He sighed. “Did Adrienne tell you anythin’ ‘bout me?”

“She said that you were a Lord. Is that true?”

“Yes,” Mr. Punch nodded definitely, “this is the body of a Lord. Lord Fallbridge to be exact. That’s whose face you’re looking at. Lord Fallbridge’s given name is Julian. His surname is Molliner, and he’s a Lord cuz his mother is a Duchess. The Duchess of Fallbridge. That’s how all that works.”

“What shall I call you?” Nellie asked.

“Well, then, strange as it might seem…” Mr. Punch sighed again. “It’d be best to call me Mr. Punch.”

“As your friends do?” Nellie asked. “I’ve heard Mr. Halifax and his brother refer to you as Mr. Punch. They explained that it’s an affectionate name for you.”

“Funny, isn’t it, that folk’d have affection for Mr. Punch? Most of us are rogues, we are. But, we’re loveable rogues, I ‘spose. I’m not like the others in many ways, and in many ways I am.”

Nellie tapped her fingers impatiently, “Shall I, then, call you Mr. Punch?”

“Yes.” Punch nodded. “Seems to be the best thing. You’ll know when I’m not Mr. Punch. It’ll be different.”

Nellie nodded slowly.

“Ah, you don’t understand, do ya?” Mr. Punch laughed. “That’s to be expected. So, how do you know Adrienne?”

“I’ve known her a long time.” Nellie answered vaguely.

“Here, were you a whore?” Mr. Punch asked.

“Sir!” Nellie gasped. “You are impolite!”

“Not really,” Mr. Punch shrugged Julian’s shoulders. “I don’t mean nothin’ cruel by it. Ain’t no shame in sayin’ what you were or even what you are, long as it’s true. Lord Fallbridge’s sister is a whore. And, I know that Adrienne was. Don’t mean I love her any less. In fact, I love her more for it because she fought to get away from it, and it weren’t her fault in the first place. I mean, Adrienne—not Barbara. Barbara’s gone and chosen it. Adrienne didn’t. Did you?”

“I really don’t wish to have this conversation.” Nellie spat.

“Pardon me if I seem uncouth. I’m learnin’ ‘bout how to be a gentleman, I am. I meant no harm.”

Nellie nodded.

“Do you work for Iolanthe Evangeline?” Punch asked.

“I did.” Nellie said softly. “Mr. Halifax and Adrienne are going to help me.”

“That’s kind of them.” Mr. Punch smiled. “Now, I’ll beg your pardon in advance for askin’ this question should it offend you, but, see, I gotta ask. And, I’ll tell ya, I’d appreciate an honest answer because you know I’ll find out eventually. Did the ‘Ogress’ send ya here to spy on us? Is that why you’re here? See, I can look at your eyes and know that there’s a hardness inside ya. You’re hidin’ somethin’. So, tell me now, are you here to do the wicked work of Iolanthe Evangeline?”

Did you miss Chapters 1-129? If so, you can read them here.

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